Spiritual Hypochondria

Photo Credit: neadeau

"But to you who fear My name the Sun of Righteousness shall arise 
with healing in His wings. . ." Mal. 4:2 

The difference between spiritual health and spiritual hypochondria is all in how you view spiritual reality.

In my work on the alternative side of holistic medicine, I often see patients suffering from a series of vague symptoms they have put together into a major, if usually obscure, illness. They often have thick folders full of printouts from the Internet describing various diseases, with stars by the symptoms they perceive in themselves.  While such patients can have a health complaint that is simply not taken seriously by their doctors, sometimes the problem is actually hypochondria--an obsessive belief that they have an illness or illnesses.

Hypochondriacs can lead miserable lives.  They lay awake at night monitoring their body for new symptoms, scour web sites for information on their problem, and badger their health care providers with demands for test after test in an attempt to diagnose the illness (or illnesses) from which they are certain they suffer.  Some alienate family members, lose jobs, and end marriages because finding the source of their illness devours their life.  Often, their "symptoms" are not even terribly severe, which makes it all the more painful to watch them batter themselves with invasive tests, and waste money and precious days obsessing on their health. 

Unfortunately, hypocondriacs simply take to an extreme what we are all told to do by our doctors--get regular screenings for illnesses, and check out any chronic symptom, even if it seems mild. Since everyone knows or has heard of someone whose occasional acid reflux was actually a severe heart problem, or whose mild headaches end up as the first symptoms of a brain tumor, convincing a hypochondriac that they are not sick is difficult. In the end, logical arguments are not the way to help someone who cannot clearly perceive objective information--they must be convinced the problem is their view of reality, not the symptoms they so carefully chart.

When I treat a hypochondriac patient, I try to gently urge them to seek counseling, and encourage them to focus on what is working properly in their body rather than on the negative symptoms they perceive.  Sometimes this approach works, and they find a good therapist who can help them see how distorted their view of health has become, and work on seeing their life more clearly. Often they move on to another practitioner more likely to buy into their worldview.

These days, I sometimes wonder if I have spiritual hypochondria.  I will often agonize over perceived faults and sins, beating myself up over failings I believe should have been solved long ago.  I read self-help information, and torment myself analyzing my every thought for anything that wanders from perfection.  This constant vigilance leaves me discouraged and anxious over my own imperfections. Like Paul, I often feel like wailing "O wretched [woman] that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?" (Rom. 7:24)

Like the physical hypochondriac, on the surface I am only doing what I should.  Concern about sin, even supposed small sins, is not misplaced.  Few people reading this have committed murder, but all of us have despised someone, even if only for a few seconds.  Not many people rob banks, but who has not coveted the pretty things that belong to someone else? Any small sin can keep us from salvation. Paul tells us to examine ourselves, David and others tell us to search our heart, and Jesus Himself warns us our every attitude, thought, and word will be eligible for judgement.  I've never understood how a Christian can live in such a microscope, being ordered to be perfect, and experience  the "the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding" (Phil. 4:7). I just have anxiety attacks and shame. 

I finally see now that my problem is not primarily my sin, but my view of spiritual reality.  Once a person begins the process of repentance by renouncing their prerogative to make their own choices about right and wrong, and accepts Christ's sacrifice for their sin, their focus should be on their spiritual health.  We should do our spiritual screenings--we should analyze our thoughts, work on our faults, and watch our words (1 Cor.11:28).   But rather than work ourself into a frazzled mess, we should be asking God to search us and know us, as David says (Ps. 139:23). 

Rather than be ashamed of our sin, we should bring it to God, ask for His forgiveness, trusting Him to make us spiritually healthy (1 Jn.1:9). Once we pledge our lives to God, we are essentially healthy. Untreated, any sin can lead to death.  But God has granted us a way to have perfect spiritual health by growing with Him over our lifetime. As with physical hypochondria, the real problem is the belief that our condition is much worse than our Doctor believes, and our need to control the progress of our spiritual life.  God is the only source of spiritual clarity. He alone can heal us and "restore. . . the joy of [His] salvation" (Ps. 51:12).